5 things I wish I’d known before my divorce. Going through a divorce can feel like having the ground swept out from under your feet. I know because I’ve been there—twice in fact! As a life and divorce coach now, I look back and realize there were several things I wish I had known before my own divorce experiences. These insights might help you navigate this challenging time with a bit more clarity and strength. And yes, a touch of humor – because if you can’t laugh about it, you’ll cry!
It’s Okay to Feel Everything
One of the biggest lessons I learned was that it’s okay to feel every emotion that comes your way. Anger, sadness, relief, confusion – they all have their place in the healing process. I remember trying to stay strong for everyone else, putting on a brave face while I was breaking inside. If I could go back, I would allow myself to feel without judgment, understanding that these emotions are a natural response to a significant life change. Also, who knew a pint of ice cream could be both a comfort and a therapist?
Professional Support is Invaluable
While friends and family mean well, they often can’t provide the unbiased support you need during a divorce. I wish I had sought the guidance of a professional coach and/or a therapist earlier in the process. These professionals can offer tools and perspectives that loved ones simply can’t. They help you see the situation from different angles and equip you with strategies to move forward healthily. Plus, they won’t give you the side-eye when you bring up the same issue repeatedly – they actually encourage it!
Financial Literacy is Empowering
Divorce can be financially draining, and not understanding your financial situation can add to the stress. I regret not educating myself about our finances sooner. Understanding your financial standing, including assets, debts, and future financial needs, is crucial. It’s empowering to know where you stand and to plan your financial future with confidence. Think of it like learning to navigate a new city – you might get lost a few times, but soon enough, you’ll know all the shortcuts and best coffee shops.
Self-Care is Non-Negotiable
In the chaos of a divorce, self-care often takes a back seat. I wish I had prioritized my well-being more. Taking time for yourself is not selfish; it’s essential. Whether it’s through exercise, meditation, or simply enjoying a hobby, self-care helps maintain your mental and emotional health. Looking back, those moments of self-care were when I found the strength to keep going. Treat yourself like the royalty you are – bubble baths and tiaras optional but highly recommended.
Life Does Go On
During my divorce, it felt like the end of the world. But I’ve come to realize that life goes on, and there is joy and fulfillment on the other side. It’s important to hold on to hope and believe in a future where you can be happy and whole again. Embrace the uncertainty and trust that this chapter will lead to growth and new opportunities. Think of it as your very own season finale – the plot twists are wild, but the next season promises exciting new characters and adventures. Post-divorce life can be an exhilarating journey where you get to create the life of your dreams. It’s your chance to rediscover yourself, pursue passions, and build a life that truly reflects who you are and what you what you’re meant for.
As a life, relationship, and divorce coach, my journey through divorce has shaped the way I support my clients. I understand the pain and confusion, but I also know the potential for growth and renewal. If you’re going through a divorce, know that it’s a process, and it’s okay to seek help. You don’t have to go through it alone, and there’s a future waiting for you that’s brighter than you can imagine – and maybe even a little bit funnier too.
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